Driving in Bangalore - India.

For the benefit of every Tom, Dick and Harry visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your insurance company. The hints are as follows: Do we drive on the left or right of the road? The answer is "both". Basically you start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied.. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers don't drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position. Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.
Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts),or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar. Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage. Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting withsuccess. Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi): The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate. Mopeds: The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac. Leaning Tower of Passes: Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers. One-way Street: These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type. Least I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting. Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught. Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously.

Kozhikode - a new experience

My father had been trying for a transfer to kerala ever since he joined LIC of India.Finally a new Division was opening at Calicut and my father got a transfer.This was the last journey from Raipur to Kerala.From Nagpur for the first time we could get a direct train to Ernakulum.This was then called Delhi Jayanthi Janatha Express.For the first time I saw a Pantry Car in the moving train.It really made me happy.No more outside food which can be unhygienic.also pillows were provided in the sleeper class as there is no more 3rd class.Only Sleeper class,First Class and A.C.Class were available.Pantry Car had sitting arrangements as well.Finally after 2 days of pleasant trip we reached Ernakulum.Now we have to get into Ordinary Train but takes only 2 hrs to reach my home.

Slumdog Millionaire - A mockery on INDIA.

Slumdog Millionaire is a movie made for the sadistic viewing pleasure of the so called first world.
The real Slumdog is India.The producers are showing India as an accidental Millionaire which in fact happens to be Slumdog.
I am really surprised how our media is gloating with pride over its success without realising the fact that once again the westerners have made fun of this country.
It is a movie with clear racial arrogance.Surprisingly our superstars Anil Kapoor and A.R.Rehaman is unfortunately celebrating its success.
It shows all the negativity in India.
Slums,Open air Lavatories,Riots,Underworld,Prostitution,Brothels,child labour,Begging,blinding,petty peddlers,Traffic jam,Irresponsible Call centre Executives etc.etc,
But they are not Showing Western Pedophiles and Drug Peddlers!
Please don't ever watch this Mockery on India! Spend your Money for something better.

Thank You Mr.George Bush - The American President

The NSG Waiver in Vienna had been a door opener for a country like India.After 34 years of Nuclear Apartheid Now India would be close to super power.China is a powerful nation and it tried to block the NSG Waiver through other countries.Initially it tried playing havoc using the CPM and other leftist group in India but Dr.Manmohan singh,a Gold Medalist from London School of economics,Would any time beat a poor Strategist like Mr.Karat & Co.Thus Confidential motion was set and the UDF were Victorious thereby stopping Left parties and BJP from any further mischief.
Next Hurdle was to get approval from NSG.The American President directly got involved and got it passed at the NSG.All Indians are Thankful to you Mr.George Bush.Definitely you will be an icon for Indians in future.Probably your good intention of stopping Terrorist of Afghan and Iraq had backfired but I am sure your role in making India a Nuclear power will Always be appreciated.Thank You Dubya!!
Now NSG waiver has given India a Global opportunity.It will generate worldwide business worth US$40 billion!
Hence we Indians should Thank our PM Dr.Manmohan Singh and the US President Mr.George Bush.

Raipur a big village

Coming back to the schooldays We have returned from Kerala Vacation and the School Days are back.Though now Raipur is the Capital of Chattisgarh it had been a big Village when i was doing my Schooling.We use to live in a place called Raja Talab which in English translates to King Pond.
Near to that is the place called Shanti Nagar,Shanker nagar etc;All had few houses and known people.My School holy Cross Convent is in a place called Byron bazar.
It is a Catholic Convent School Run by the Missionary Fathers and Nuns.They were very strict in the matter of education and discipline.Sports was always encouraged and Curricular activities were given extra marks.Most of the teachers were Highly Qualified Locales,Anglo Indians or Nuns.
Class consisted of Sindhis,Punjabis,Bengalis,marathas,Marwaris ,Gujratis,Tamil,Telugu,oriyas and Malayalees.Very few Upites,Biharis.

Loyal Malayalee

One of the best or worst thing that we notice would be the Loyalty of a Malayalee.

Some of the products that had always been used by Malayalees from so many Decades are given below.

Talcum powder has to Cutticura or Ponds and no malayalee would go for anything different.

Soaps are Cinthol,Lifebouy and Chandrika and for small infants it has to be Pears and Johnson's.

Hair Oil would be Coconut oil,Gingelly oil.It is also used for cooking as well.Besides different Types of Ayurvedic Oils are used for body Massage.

Cigarettes has to be Scissors or Panama.Strong guys chose Charminar.Also Kerala Dinesh Beedi is very Popular among working class and Communist Followers.

White Dhotis are of Lakshmi mills and Lungies were of Bombay Dyeing now replaced by Kitex Brand.
Detergent Powder will be Surf and detergent Soap Rin.
Dish washing Powder Vim.
Antiseptic will always be Dettol.Shaving Cream will be Palmolive or Godrej and Toothpaste had been Colgate or Close-Up.
After Shave Lotion Old-Spice.
Sunglasses are always Ray-ban.Most of the KSRTC drivers wear it.
Now many wear pants and Shirts.Louis Phillipe is the Favorite but many also prefer Peter England.Bra and panties of MyBra and Juliet had been favorite for kerala Ladies and Gents prefer Tantex Underwear and Baniyan.

Another famous dress worn by malayalee Women is the Nighties which is worn even whole Day and wouldn't mind even going to Shops and Hospital etc wearing it.Any where in the world if a lady is Spotted with Nightie then in all probability she would be a malayalee!!

When it comes Hard drinks Kerala has the most number of Drunkards.Usually the brand would be Bejoice Brandy followed by McDowells No.1 Whiskey.In case of Beer it is Kingfisher or Kalyani Beer.

Footwear would always be Bata.Quivadis a kind of sandel had been favourite with many Youngsters in the past and Shoes if worn has to be Bata Ambassodor.Paragon is the Hawai Chappel worn by men and Women alike and is the Trade mark of a malayalee.

Moustache is another trade mark of a Malayalee.Men without Moustache is disliked by Kerala Girls and might be even rejected in marriage.All Filmstars Mamooty,Mohanlal,Suresh Gopi,Jairam,Mukesh,Dileep and also yesteryear's actors PremNazir,Madhu,Satyan and Thikurishi all wear a Moustache.All villains in Malayalam movies are always Clean-Shaved.But in Hindi Movies The Super Stars are clean Shave and Villains carry on moustaches!!

Nuclear Deal - Empowering India

In my previous article I mentioned about the job opportunities that India could achieve as a Nuclear Power.Besides how Indians would be much in demand building nuclear plants around the world.Here are some of the Industries that could benefit in India from the Deal.
1)Defence and Space .
2)Medicine - There will a Huge progress in the Field of Nuclear Medicine.
3)Oil and Electronics.
4)Mining and Power industry.
5)Components Business :There will be a great deal of opportunity for Civilian Nuclear Energy Components Business.
When Comparison is made to China we would notice that Chinese too have nuclear plants but they use 'Sunset technology' - Stuff that is no more competitive.
How I hope Dr.Manmohan Singh could Lead the Nation for at least 5 more years as it would Definitely make India a Leading Force to be Reckoned by the World!